You're earring is so big in my mouth
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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