P.S. I can't hear my feet
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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