I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
