FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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