whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize