his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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