i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
