4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
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I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
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I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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