Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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