Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
