He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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