Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
You smell like stripper and shame
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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