So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
So squirting runs in the family.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
