Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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