Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
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