If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
