Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
