He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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