So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I just blew my weed a kiss
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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