this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
