so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
They took my balls.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
