he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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