he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
