alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
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