Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
