porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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