Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just googled if crying burns calories
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
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