It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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