there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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