just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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