At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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