I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
