Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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