Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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