it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
