Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
