You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home