She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.