FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
two words...techno handjob
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.