theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
