Texts From Last Night

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  (509): View more from Washington

  Can I ask u a weird question?

  (1-509): View more from Washington

  Sure

  (509): View more from Washington

  do u have the hershy squirts too?

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  (509): Can I ask u a weird question? (1-509): Sure (509): do u have the hershy squirts too? http://tfl.nu/s8pz
  Replies (20) Good night (650) Bad night (3643)
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  (905): View more from Toronto

  so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.

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  (905): so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever. http://tfl.nu/wzae
  Replies (126) Good night (23612) Bad night (1969)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.

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  (484): i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend. http://tfl.nu/ovq6
  Replies (55) Good night (1030) Bad night (4581)
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  (209): View more from California

  Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.

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  (209): Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth. http://tfl.nu/an4l
  Replies (9) Good night (720) Bad night (3835)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER

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  (203): my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER http://tfl.nu/olos
  Replies (30) Good night (1121) Bad night (5524)
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  (807): View more from Ontario

  I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.

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  (807): I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing. http://tfl.nu/a3a6
  Replies (19) Good night (4723) Bad night (1385)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you

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  (303): you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you http://tfl.nu/wspo
  Replies (15) Good night (5568) Bad night (1255)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.

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  (505): Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you. http://tfl.nu/lhr4
  Replies (11) Good night (972) Bad night (2816)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong

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  (250): But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong http://tfl.nu/o9zp
  Replies (7) Good night (1157) Bad night (2248)
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"

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  (662): In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today" http://tfl.nu/6cpx
  Replies (30) Good night (1575) Bad night (7630)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.

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  (423): no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet. http://tfl.nu/ph90
  Replies (10) Good night (2905) Bad night (1308)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina

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  (406): I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina http://tfl.nu/3xqs
  Replies (19) Good night (2566) Bad night (1036)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.

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  (619): Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear. http://tfl.nu/20ls
  Replies (8) Good night (1045) Bad night (529)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night

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  (256): Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night http://tfl.nu/my14
  Replies (1) Good night (360) Bad night (667)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.

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  (850): Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic. http://tfl.nu/1pgt
  Replies (2) Good night (602) Bad night (264)

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