their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
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She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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