Duck Duck Cougar?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
