ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
