i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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