I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
