Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize