I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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