Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
