so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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