So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?