the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
