don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
