Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
