Define "chronic" masturbator.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Quick, to the slutcave!
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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