You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I want you more than these girls want KFC
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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