What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
