Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize