Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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