just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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