I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
