Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
we're making bets on your personal life
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
