So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
