I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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