I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize
