I'm lost and stupid without you.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
