Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
