I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
