I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
