I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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